I'm BAAAACCKKK!

Hey everyone.

So this blog was originally intended to chronicle my freshman year of college, but I've developed a bit of insomnia lately so while I was laying in bed awake at 3 A.M. last night, I decided to revive Operation College. See I was going to start a new blog this semester because I was supposed to be studying abroad, but a series of unfortunate events have prevented that. So now that I'm stuck in Lincoln, NE instead of Besançon, France, I figure why not. And though the novelty of this whole college thing has worn off and I'm about to start my fourth semester, I don't know all there is to know. I am a seasoned professional when it comes to dorm life and navigating my way to class, but every day is something different. Everyday you grow a little and hopefully learn something new.

So here it is. The updated, improved Operation College, Version 2.0.

And since the first two days of the semester have been deemed snow days (YAY!!), here's the important things the blogging world has missed out on in the last 8 or so months since I posted last:

• I rode my bike across the state of Nebraska in a week with my Dad. Yep, 490-ish miles, 7 days. It was intense! It was in tents! (We camped).

• I spent part of my summer in Port-au-Prince, Haiti helping dig a foundation for a home for boys that was destroyed in the earthquake last January. With shovels and buckets. Easily the greatest experience of my life thus far.

• I got a boyfriend! Well technically two, but the first one didn't work out. The second one is great though!

• I changed my major. I'm now studying Inclusive Early Childhood Education. Just a little bit different from International Studies, but hey, I said it might change.
• I survived the first semester of my sophomore year.
  

So there ya go. I'm not a stupid freshman trying to figure things out anymore. I'm a stupid sophomore still trying to figure things out.

It's good to be back.

I feel old.

I'm going to my friend's wedding this weekend.

That just seems so weird for me. I'm trying to picture myself getting married now.

Can't do it.

It might be because all of my relationships so far have ended in near disaster, and maybe that the longest successful one was only about 6 months, but I don't think that's it.

I just don't feel old enough, I'm barely outta high school. I have a hard enough time seeing myself with a boyfriend right now, let alone a husband. Someday, of course, but not while I'm 18. I think every girl has those somewhat unrealistic romantic expectations you get from watching too many chick flicks and Disney movies about finding the perfect guy and the perfect dress and living happily ever after...just not anytime in the near future.

And like yeah, I feel all grown up and stuff, I'm in college! But I've realized that college is not really real life. It's this awkward in-between stage where you're on your own, but not really. I don't have to pay bills or clean anything or even make my own food. I don't think I could handle having to actually be responsible for something besides my homework and taking care of my fish, and I think getting married probably qualifies as having to be responsible for something.

But I just feel old saying that I'm going to a friend's wedding. I've been to cousins' weddings, aunt and uncles' weddings, distant relatives' that are much older than me wedding, but never someone that I've been hanging out with since third grade. It'll be interesting.

Tip of the Day: Don't grow up too fast.

:Sigh:

Relationships are tough, even in the best situations. College is crazy. So how do they work together?

Apparently, they don't.

It seems like you can do everything to try to make it work, but it's still impossible. Personally, I've lost faith in the idea that two people can work out there differences and be happy together.

Call me negative if you want, but I'm also a bit relieved and confused and happy and upset all at the same time, and as of yesterday, single.

Or maybe just in the idea that I can do it, cuz I honestly don't think I can. And deep down, I know it's possible, because I see people everyday who make it work.

I'm not sure how I feel about this yet.

But I'll be ok.

Tip of the Day: Don't forget to smile.